This Week Around AU: Aug. 1 - Aug. 8

The AUthority had it's coming out party on the Daily Jolt and it went about as well as Junior Balboa's in Rocky V (okay, so he never officially came out, but you could see the disappointment in Sly's eye as he scorned his own son in favor of Tommy "The" Gunn - that, and Jr. had an earring).

First off who actually went to go see "The Good Son?" Much less, who cites it as a movie reference?

Amazingly, it does suck that bad.

holy shit thats stupid.

Who wants front page access so they can write a shitty speech using cliche' speech lines that i used in 9th grade when I was trying to be polically cool.

By publishing something of Mr. Bruno's, the AUthority has already lost all credibility - regardless of the disclaimer.

The Washington Nationals played the role of the grateful guest in SF, going right after Bonds, and in turn, giving up home runs 756 and 757. DCist.com offers a glimmer of hope:

We're sure there are some mixed feelings among the Nats today about being immortalized in a video clip that'll likely be replayed for decades to come.

At least, should they go the way of the Senators or Expos, we'll always have this.

The Eagle Blog reports that if bomb scares can't keep Metro shut down, Metro's General Manager, John Catoe will do his best:

The company is researching whether or not to scrap the latest trains on weekends that AU students so desperately depend on.

And finally, when AU's freshmen aren't putting up with Ajay Bruno's antics, they're busy convincing themselves that living in a triple won't be soooo bad, and hey:

I'm looking forward to the free lofted bed

Cheers!

The Tavern just wasn't inconvenient enough. (THEE) American University is apparently spending $1.5 mil (which doesn't seem so bad when you think of it as 15,000 unmarked Benjamins) to renovate the place. Fortunately, for those students who already loved waiting 23 minutes for their grilled-chicken-cheese-quesadilla-no-way-in-fuck-we're-
remembering-to-give-you-fries-beef-steak, AUSG is here to let you have it your way.

According to an interview from The Eagle:

The updated plans aim to keep people out of the Tavern while en route to Butler Pavilion and other parts of Mary Graydon. Elmore said the doors that separate the Tavern from Butler will be alarmed, prohibiting free movement from the stairwell by the bookstore into the Tavern.

I don't know what I can't wait for more: a) losing my favorite way to stay out the rain, or b) having to listen to fellow undergrads bitch about how paying $43k a year entitles them to walk wherever the hell they want. "Cause come on, I don't pay $43k a year to... (insert whatever likely injustice is currently burdening the predominantly white upper-class student body of AU)"

I guess the few bright spots are the new "mood lighting" in MGC and it seems the plans for the remodel have uncovered some things UN weapon inspectors couldn't.

AU Wrestler Dies in Car Crash

I believe most people are already aware of this, but The Eagle sent out an email earlier today delivering the tragic news that Jimmy Pepper, an AU wrestler and rising sophomore in the Kogod School of School of Business, had died .

According to the AU Athletics site:

American University wrestler Jimmy Pepper died Tuesday morning as a
result of injuries sustained in a car accident in Columbia, Ill.

According to police, Pepper lost control of his vehicle on an exit ramp
on Route 3 at Palmer Road and crashed into a ravine. Pepper was pronounced dead
at the scene.

The article states that the funeral will be held tomorrow and plans are being made for a memorial service once school starts.

Anthony Jay Bruno Speaks Out

Hey, let's face it, this is a new blog, with no readers. Cool. I'm just like every other self-important person with a computer. But, I'm not gonna settle for that.

In an effort to draw interest and readers to my site, I've offered Anthony Jay Bruno (the incoming freshman who has been the source of this year's pre-school {pun intended} controversy) an exclusive chance to voice his side. Obviously, The AUthority neither endorses, nor condones Ajay, but simply prints his words:

I would like to thank (you) for the opportunity to help clear the air on who I am and where I stand. It appears that i'm the hot topic now before school has even began. Much of this discussion has been attributed to my views on homosexuality. Let me be very clear about this. I have nothing against homosexuality. I do however have a problem with homosexual acts. It is unhealthy, unnatural and immoral. That is the bottom line. God created two genders for a clear purpose. That is the natural order of life and I think we need to respect that.

I am a believer in the Judeo-Christian values upon which our great nation was founded. I feel that in order to remain a shining city on a hill and a beacon of light for the world that it is essential to maintain these values. Without this moral core we cannot endure. Now I am certain that the liberals reading this will be thinking "seperation of church and state." Well, find that phrase for me in the constitution. Oh, that's right, it's not there. What it does talk about however is freedom, the freedom to choose your own religion, which I respect as long as it is peaceful and does not infringe upon the rights of others or my right to spread the gospel as is encouraged by the great commission.

Some of you may have also noticed that I have formed an exploratory committee in regards to a possible College Republican Presidential run in the spring. I will not make a final decision on this until some point later in the school year, but I did feel the need to do this to combat what is evident cronyism and corruption within this organization. I also believe the current leadership is already ineffective with their refusal to take a strong stand for American values on campus and even to go so far as condemning me for it. This has involved several members, including the current President, whom when I tried to reconcile with, simply ignored me. I think this is interesting for a man who cites "It Takes A Family" as one of his favorite books. Last time I checked, great leaders like Rick Santorum don't hold grudges.

In closing, I would like to yet again offer the hand of friendship and comraderie to any member of the College Republican organization and to anyone who does not have a positive opinion of me at the University. I believe we can work through our differences and work together for a better school and a better America.

Sincerely,
Ajay Bruno

Love them Foreigners

CLICK PICTURE FOR VIDEO

With the exception of Leonard Hall and those text books bought online (you know: the ones that smell and all the accounting problems are in pesos and euros instead of dollars), rarely do AU students get to actually interact with foreign students studying at AU. Luckly, Abroad at AU put together this web gem. It's about 1:10 in, but once you get to Sarah Klein from Germany, it's gold.

My favorite city was Washington DC, although I've never been to the US before... So I looked up in the internet what universities you have here in DC, and I found THEE AMERICAN ONE. And so... I just APPLIED!!!

Why would I want go to Harvard, Papa? Why when I go to THEE AMERICAN ONE!?!

Video and Picture Courtesy of Abroad at AU

El Presidente Kerwin

Ah Cornelius, so what if you weren't your beloved Alma Mater's first choice, or second, who remembers. Not I. It was your superior qualifications (and ability to not drop out of the search) that won you the headmaster-ship. Kerwin is surely feeling like Macaulay Culkin did after being dropped off the cliff in THE GOOD SON, only if instead of dying, he had been made acting PrEZ of a little known college and eventually promoted to the real job cause Elijah Wood turned out to be a fucking douche. Oh well, I'm sure Mosses wasn't the first choice of the search committee GOD put together either.

"Neil Kerwin has the strong support of the Board of Trustees, and we believe we are fortunate to have the right person at the right time—to take AU forward." - Gary Abramson. Wrong War. Wrong Time.

Photo Courtesy of American University Website